Big Butts
by Franticity
Summary: Hey peeps!Just a random JN oneshot I thought up at 3 am.Rated T for repeated use of the word ass,old lady stripping,and off key rapping!R&R please!


AN:Hey again peeps!This is just a random fluffy JN one-shot I made up!PLEASE NOOOOOOO FLAMES!Oh and the gang are all 16 now.

Disclaimer:In mirrorYou talkin to me,YOU,YOU TALKIN TO ME!I DONT OWN IT JN,SO BUZZ OFF FREAK...yeah you better walk away!

Cindy and Libby are sitting in front of an open fire and Libby says "Isn't this great Cind,just you and me and this seemingly random ass sitting inside your fireplace..." Cindy responded "Yeah,just you and me and the ass,life doesn't get any better than this..."

And Libby said"Nope it sure-WAIT A MINUTE!Cindy why is there a fat red and white ass stuck inside your fireplace?"By now they had not realized the ass moving up and down,as if trying to get loose from the wrath from the chimney."You know Libbs,I really don't know".

All of a sudden Sheen burst in through the door screaming "Don't worry ladies!I'll save you from the big ass that you both are talking about thats stuck in the chimney that I'm not even supossed to know about because I wasn't here!Stand back!"He reapeatedly slapped the the ass while Libby was screaming things like:

"Yeah you go Sheen!"

"Slap on with ya' bad self!"

"Slap that ass's" she looked at Cindy "ass?"

Then the ass suddenly got loose from the chimney,revealing Jimmy in a Santa Claus costume.Jimmy then said "SHEEN WHY THE HELL ARE YOU SMACKING MY PERFECTLY FORMED ROUND FAT ASS,you know besides the reason that your a crazy ass lunatic" to wich Sheen responded "You see Jimmy-" Jimmy cut him him off "SANTA Neutron!"

"Ok Jim-er-Santa Neutron,Libby and Cindy here"he motioned to Cindy and Libby"were scared to death of your horibble shaking ass.So I rushed in here made a long speech and started smacking your ass repeatedly."

Cindy protested "We were't scared,just annoyed your fat shaking ass was ruining our quiet night by the fire"Jim-er-Santa Neutron got very angry at that and screamed "You DARE insult the oh so great and mighty fine Santa Neutrons ass!For that,you will pay!After I make this phone call!"

He took out his elf-phone(AN:Like a Santa/JN version of a cell phone)and dialed some numbers,"Hey,is this Pizza Palace?"A pause,"Ok cool can I get a extra extra extra large pinapple and pickle onion cheese deluxe with pepperoni and mustrad pizza?"Pause again"oK,30 MINUTES!Hell no!Bring it here in 2 minutes flat and I just MIGHT not sit on you!Ok,thanks!"

Sheen took this moment to whisper to Libby saying"No wonder he's so fat."

Santa Neutron unfortunatly heard him and told him that he would sit on him until the pizza get here.Sheen bared his punishment like a man but soon passes out do to constant farts."Now for my evil plan,Sheen,yo Sheen wake up"he poked Sheen with a stick that happend to just be lying around but he still didn't wake up.

So he got a bigger stick that also happened to be lying around and poked him again.Sheen still didn't wake up.Finnaly he got a log that was,once again,just lying around and smashed his head.Sheen woke up and shook his head.

Seeing that they are cartoons once he shook his head it got back to normal.At that moment Cindy's doorbell rang.Libby went to open it.Outside was standing...dramatic pause...Nick!And he was holding a pizza.Santa Neutron ran to the door saying "OOOOOO GOODIE!My pizza's here!" and grabbed the pizza from Nick.

He gobbled down the pizza greedily and burped REALLY loud in Cindy's face and said "Ok,now I shall tell you my evil plan,I will call SOMEONE and another SOMEONE and they will do SOMETHING terrible to you."He took out his phone again and called someone.

5 MINUTES LATER

There was a knock at the door.This time Cindy answerd it,standing outside was Miss fowl.She was wearing a leather policeman suit that showed WAAAAAAAY to much skin.She stepped inside.When she did that she revealed the HORROR standing behind her!

Behing her was Carl.Elf Carl.Holding up a sign that said "Tease me XX!"Suddenly,Miss Fowl did somthing NONE of them wpuld have guessed would happen or want to happen...she started to strip.But,thank GOD,Carl's 'Tease Me xx' sign was for censorship.

So when Miss Fowl was completly naked,he used the long sign to put over her body.Then,out of nowhere Bolbi comes flying in through a window,dressed as a clown.He started singing Baby Got Back in his weird Bolbi style.

"Me is liking of the big buttucks and I am not to be lying" to wich Carl cut him off and started singing the real song.Not in his way,in the real Sir Mixalot way.

"I like big butts and I cannot lie!You other brothers can't deny,when a girl walks in with itty bitty waist and round thang in yo face you get high!And start singing wild!Baby Got Back!One moe time from da top!"

Everyone started dancing to Carl's off key but highly rappster like,um,rapping.Jimmy stated shaking his ass in everyones face .Much to the despair of the others.

Well I'll just skip to the end.The "party" finished,Cindy and Bolbi got married,Santa Neutron turned back into Jimmy and was arrested for fraud,Miss Fowl continued the stripping buisness and got married to Sam,Carl turned into a serial gay killer and killed off everyone in Queer Eye for the Straight Guy,and Sheen and Libby got married and had little mutant Ultra Lord/Music obsessed babies.

And as for me,I continued writing lame fics and eventually went crazy.Let's just say that there is no hope whatsoever for me...

AN:Soooooooo,hate it?Love it?Tell me in a reveiw...THE PURPLE BUTTON IS CALLING TO YOU!Er...just reveiw please.And flame if you want,JUST READ MY PROFILE!Please,okay,I'm really done now.Yeah,BYE!  



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